Cider Words: Humorous Apple Names

Humorous Names of Heirloom Apples
Humorous Names of Heirloom Apples

At one time, the United States of America had around 14,000 named apple varieties. That is pretty amazing and sad when you consider how many you can find today. I love the history of apples and I’ve enjoyed reading some of the older books, like American Pomology and The Apples of New York, on cider making and apples. One of my favorite things is the names of apples. For me, the names of apples often give you insight into the people who named them or the locations they were discovered. For example, Granny Smith was found on the farm of Mrs. Smith. The smokehouse apple was found growing next to an old smokehouse. One of America’s first named varieties, Roxbury Russet, was discovered in Roxbury, Massachusetts, and it has russeting. Others seem to describe the physical characteristics of the apples. I wanted to share what I thought were some of the most humorous names of apples.

Gewiss GoodMediumPennsylvania WinterGood
Green CheeseMediumTennessee WinterGood?
HurlbuttMediumConnecticut E. WinterGood
Ice CreamMediumKentucky AutumnGood?
Poppy QuampLargeOhio AutumnPoor
Slug SweetlingMediumRhode IslandAutumnGood
SpongeLarge? AutumnPoor
The Cook’s FavoriteMediumIndiana AutumnGood
Victuals and DrinkLargeNew JerseyAutumnGood
Wormsly PippinMediumEnglishAutumnPoor
Humorous apple names taken from J.A Warder’s American Pomology

I thought these were pretty good, especially Sponge. Don’t press that one with other apples as it will absorb all the juice! What apple names do you find humorous? No cheating by listing pears. They have a category all their own!

(1) J.A. Warner, American Pomology, Orange Judd & Company, 1867

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